Long Time Sickness

I have been sick for a long time. For more than a year I have mean nauseous and barely eating. The doctors all tell me that I am either anorexic (but I like and enjoy eating) or perfectly healthy. I've had my blood checked and my guts radiated to no avail.

My doctors have written me off. Meanwhile, almost every day and night I am sick to my stomach. There are nights when I cannot go to sleep until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning because laying down makes me feel like vomiting.

My quality of life has diminished along with my weight over the last year. I used to take my boys to the park and play outside everyday. Now, I'm fearful of leaving the house because I'm afraid of throwing up in public. I used to walk everywhere now if I walk more than a half mile I feel sick. My garden has become a chore simply because bending over makes me sick and light headed.

I have finally started forcing myself to eat. I am not sure if it is helping me feel less sick less often. Every morning I have a serving of protein (usually a scrambled egg), a dairy (either cheese in the egg or a yogurt), and a fiber. I then try to remember to drink water and have a snack. Even my love of coffee cannot be indulged everyday. Somedays I am too sick to stand the smell of coffee. Lunch is usually a grain with a protein, a vegetable, and a fruit. I try to get in another dairy product (rarely plain milk) as a snack. The last few weeks I've been eating grape tomatoes because I have a plethora of them in my front yard! Dinner is usually skipped because I am too sick. I cook and can barely contain myself as I finish the cooking.

Is this all in my head? Am I really fine, but just stressed? Am I anorexic but in denial? I don't know. I'm not sure of anything anymore other than my passion for food has began to waiver.

Today I ate a piece and a half of buttered whole wheat toast, a container of blueberry yogurt, 2 cups of coffee (yea), a one ounce portion of beef (broiled then baked), some macaroni and cheese, and a scrambled egg. I know that is not nearly enough to sustain me, but it was all I could consume for today. I also drank about 3 glasses of water (each glass is 2 servings). Tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe we'll make it to the park...

Bubble Bath?

Do you ever tell your spouse or significant other that you just want to relax and unwind in the bathtub? Well, I just did. Keith, my husband, said fine and the water was flowing. The next thing I know the door is swinging open. Roman has entered and started stripping his clothes off. Then I am treated to a little baby butt in the face and in he jumps - right into my bubble bath. He happily plays in the tub while I adjust my bath from hot to lukewarm. I smile, bend down, kiss my little boy on the head, and turn to leave. I push the door all the way open and listen to him playing in the tub talking about bubbles...

First Week

My first week as a stay at home mom and part-time self-employed guru has been extremely hard. My son is energetic as only a 3-year-old can be, I have the flu (and have had it since Saturday), and my husband is now sick too. There's nothing quite like jumping head first into something new! I did create my first embroidery logo. It was approved with flying colors and the customer (my mother) paid me with vast amounts of . Start small, make no money, and the customers will come via word of mouth (hopefully, in just enough quantities to keep me busy in my spare time).

Update on Henry the Cat

Henry the Cat has died. We will miss him; he was such a wonderful cat. He would run out to meet people as they passed by our house. Even people that do not like cats liked Henry. Everyone in the neighborhood has been so supportative and thoughtful. Henry was struck by a car on Tuesday night as he ran across the street. The people in the car stopped and rang our doorbell. We took him to the emergency vet hospital, but he died before we got there. Henry will be missed.

Alternate Income

I have officially started finding ways to generate alternative income to support my coffee and reading habits. I am creating simple logos, embroidery designs, and web pages. It is very hard creating logos and embroidery designs with the programs I am using. However, given that I just quit my job I am leery about plunking down a bunch (or any at all) of money on a software program that actually does this for me. I read a book that touted labor intensive and capital deficient. That is pretty much what I am doing. It is fun!

Quitting My Job

Well, I have not posted to this site in over a year! Lots of things have changed. Roman is potty trained, he's starting to speak, and never wants to leave my sight. That being satid he has also decided I cannot leave his sight. Even when he goes pee, I'm sitting right there with him. I decided to quit my job a few weeks ago. Then I had to wait for my boss to return from all of his vacations (he'd come back for a day or two, then leave again). I do have a knack for timing. I submitted by resignation letter yesterday with a two-week notice. Everybody said they're sorry to see me go, but they all understand that it's what's best for my family. Roman is doing very poorly in preschool because he doesn't want to leave me (he hasn't been to school since April). My boss offered to let me end on May 13th (instead of the 18th) because it is the end of the pay period; so of course I accepted! Then a few hours later I found out they cannot replace me because I was being promoted yesterday!!!!! They have to wait until the official announcement comes out, have the test be given, and then post my job. I also found out I get to keep my vacation for Monday and Tuesday. So, the good news is my two week notice only involves me actually working two days. The bad news is I quit the same day I was being promoted. Talk about timing...

Also, for my new [ad]venture I will be doing web work. I can work from home to create webpages/sites, and do the changes to existing sites that nobody else wants to do. As they said in the movie (which I cannot remember, some old movie that is reference a lot), "This is the start of something wonderful." Or something to that effect. I'm terrible with quotes.

Roman's New Shoes

Roman walking in Daddy's shoes.

Today my son, Roman, was walking in my husband's shoes. He managed to get them on his feet (correctly) and began walking around the living room. It amazes me that he was able to put them on his feet so easily and walked fairly well in those boat shoes. Every day he does something new and exciting. I am thrilled to be a mommy!

Henry

Henry the cat.

This is our cat Henry. He is a wandering soul and will follow people around the neighborhood. He loves taking naps with Roman. Henry is the friendliest nicest cat you will ever meet.

Russian White House

Roman & Wendy in Moscow, Russia.

The building behind us is the Russian White House in Moscow. It is one of the Seven Sisters that were constructed in the 1950's during the Communist Regime. These buildings are very ornate, beautiful, and gothic in their design; most Communist era buildings were utilitarian.